A Wife's Respect

King Saul had done a lot for the people of Israel. He had been chosen by God, in spite of his weaknesses and put on the throne of Israel. While we may all be aware of his failure to fully obey God and the subsequent anointing of David to take up after him, I think one of the lowest moments of his rule were the words he spoke to his son Jonathan. These words reflected his inner person. They indicated his failure where it really mattered, at home.

You and me can agree that no son regardless of how evil, would stand anyone speak so disrespectfully against their own mother. In fact any man that has been in a delivery room can never utter such words against his wife. If you cannot respect your wife for whatever reason, respect her for the fact that she is the MOTHER of your children. 

I have been in the LABOR WARD severally in my brief years in marriage and that is not a place you go and come out smiling. The experience there does provoke deep thoughts, its heart wrecking. As a man you want to be helpful yet feel so useless. You cannot understand the situation. The pain, the tension and anxiety are almost unbearable and nothing relieves it better than the first cry of your baby, the good news that a son has been born to you. A son, your very own son, one that will bear your name, the crown and pride of his mother, your wife.

            While raging in anger Saul raves at Jonathan, “You son of a perverse, rebellious woman, do I not know that you have chosen the son of Jesse to your own shame, and to the shame of your mother's nakedness?” (I Sam 20:30)

These words must have cut deep into Jonathan’s heart, but he was a true son, not so useless as his father’s selfish and wicked heart would have us believe. He was indeed his greatest army general, a faithful son of integrity to be proud of. One that the mother would watch with a great sense of self-importance and fulfillment as her mind vividly remembered the day of his birth.  He was far from being a failure as the father so wrongly alleged. He was brave, wise, dependable, loyal, humble, a man of great foresight and high sense for justice. Not just intelligent but also spiritual, a discerner of times, a man with ability to see potential and how to tap it. Yet the very important person in his life, a man who could not be replaced by any other, his own father opened his mouth and spoke so disparagingly not only against him but against his own mother.

Perhaps Saul’s failure was not so much the lost Kingdom of Israel but the estranged Kingdom at home. He had failed here and this failure manifested in his relationship with God and the way he treated other people. He could not lead successfully because he had failed to honor the people that really mattered. If charity begins at home then it is true that it fails at home too. Great leadership must be attested and seen to work at home. It should be reflected in the way you treat your wife especially. With honor, respect especially before your children. For this, your children will be grateful the rest of their lives. Lack of it, will become a ghost that haunts them forever.

 I honor and respect you Mama John.